What to Listen to This Tuesday: 10/16

I still can't get over that this girl is only 14. (Or 15. Same difference.) At 13, JoJo (AKA Joanna Levesque) hit the top of the charts with her single "(Leave) Get Out," becoming the youngest solo artist ever to do so. 13. You know what I was doing at 13? A science project on the periodic table of the elements. I think I was Chromium.

The thing that's the most impressive about JoJo is not her packaging or her marketing - it's that she's singing about topics like relationships where the mere concept of someone so young having a story to tell about it is...well, straight up weird. It's the way she sings it that makes it all work. You buy it.

JoJo is an unbelievably talented singer for someone that's still so young. Listen to her on the radio, and you'll think you're rocking out to someone a lot older. "Been around the block and dated 14 different losers and taught her daughter to avoid them too," older. If she were in your school choir, you would not want to mess with her. You'd join track and cut your losses.

Not only can the girl riff with the likes of Mariah and Christina, she can act and write songs. Hey, I'm jealous.

Her new single "Too Little Too Late" peaked at #3 on the Billboard Top 100, and she shows no signs of slowing.

Pick up a copy of The High Road tomorrow. With production by Scott Storch, Swizz Beatz, and Timbaland, you know this little girl is going to be doing big things.

What to Listen to This Tuesday: 10/9

Nothing is inspiring me this week enough to persuade you to buy it, so I'm going to tell you what you should retroactively go and buy from two weeks ago. "Weird Al" Yankovic's Straight Outta Lynwood.

Weird Al may be admittedly "weird," but he surely isn't dumb. For one, he was his graduating class's valedictorian in high school, and has a degree in Architecture. Secondly, the guy is one of the best in the game at creating song parodies.

He's had some great moments in music parody history, including some of my all-time favorites, "Amish Paradise" (Bad Hair Day) and "Eat It" (Even Worse). Aside from being really crafty in the lyrics department, the guy also actually bothers to secure the permission from the original artists every time he does a cover. He doesn't need to. (Prince has yet to accept his invitation. Ever.)

His latest single, "White & Nerdy," a cover of Chamillionare's hit "Ridin," helped his album score a spot on the Billboard 200 (#9, his highest debut to date) and iTunes' Top 10 most downloaded songs. The video for the song is a little bit too hilarious for me to describe, so I suggest you watch it and try not to pee yourself with laughter.

The background dancing cameo by Donny Osmond did me in. Oh. And when he makes out with a roll of bubble wrap.

You'll see.



Squeeworthy tracks to download:

- "Confessions, Pt. 3" (Usher's "Confessions, Pt. 2")
"I haven't changed my underwear in 27 days! And when I'm kissing you, I fantasize you're a midget. I'm so sorry, Debbie. ...I mean, Bridget."

- "Trapped In the Drive-Thru" (R. Kelly's "Trapped In the Closet")
"I dunno. Do you wanna get something delivered? She's like, Why would I wanna eat liver? I don't even like liver! I'm like, No. I said delivered. She's like, I heard you say liver! I'm like, I should know what I said. She's like, Whatever! I just don't want any liver!"

What to Listen to This Tuesday: 10/2

In the spirit of "New Music Tuesdays" when new albums are released to stores and the Internet, I bestow you with a new weekly entry called "What to Listen to This Tuesday," every Monday. (Have I lost you yet?)

I'm basically giving you 24 hours to contemplate and buy. It would be pointless if I did it on Wednesdays. Unless you're Marty McFly.

This week, I am THIS close to breaking out a pocket watch and waving it in front of your collective faces to pick up Robin Thicke's new album, The Evolution of Robin Thicke.

Where you may already know him from:

• Will Smith - "Switch (R&B Remix)"
• That Sprite commercial with the long-haired bike messenger
• Reruns of The Wonder Years
• The one good song from the In the Mix soundtrack

Son of Growing Pains actor Alan Thicke, Robin began his entertainment career as a young actor, and later segued into songwriting and producing for artists such as Brian McKnight, Usher, Jordan Knight, Christina Aguilera, Mya, and Michael Jackson.

His 2003 debut album, A Beautiful World, gained popularity with the lead single, "When I Get You Alone," featuring a sample of Walter Murphy's "A Fifth of Beethoven." (If you ever rented Saturday Night Fever or know Beethoven's original, you're nodding right about now.)

After collaborating with Pharrell Williams on "Wanna Love You Girl" and signing to StarTrak, Robin's new album was slated for a third quarter 2005 release. This was later pushed back to January 2006, then February, and then every subsequent month thereafter, driving fans like me absolutely psycho. This album is well overdue, and it's finally coming out tomorrow.

Featuring artists like Lil' Wayne and Faith Evans, this album manages to maintain his unique point of view, and delves into a bit more mainstream R&B, soul sound.

Why is Robin Thicke squeeworthy? If you're looking to diversify your iTunes playlist, this is the artist to make it happen. (He also looks really good in a suit.)

Squeeworthy songs:

• "Ask Myself"
• "Lost Without U"
• "Got 2 Be Down"
  

Smart squee.

Put away your books and break out the No. 2 pencil. Here's a math equation for you:

A man is walking across a railroad bridge that goes from point A to point B. He starts at point A, and when he is 1/4th of the way across the bridge, he hears a train approaching. If the train's speed is 60MPH, how many passengers onboard are reading a James Patterson book?

Answer: 1/3.

That's right. Take a look around you on any plane, train, or automobile and you are guaranteed to spot someone reading a James Patterson book. Deemed "The man who can't miss" by Time Magazine, Patterson may be better known to your parents as the author of the Alex Cross series, or the Women's Murder Club. To your friends, he's the guy that created the butt-kicking kids with wings.

Maximum Ride, a best-selling novel on the New York Times Best Sellers List, is not your ordinary book. It comes complete with an uber-cool website (MaximumRide.com), a message board popularized by almost 10,000 fans, a MySpace, and its own soundtrack! That's right. A book with a soundtrack.


I first discovered this series after learning about The Summer Obsession's involvement on the CD. Featuring more cool music by Holly Brook (The girl from the hook on Fort Minor's hit "Where'd You Go") and other up and coming artists, the characters "hand-picked" the bands and songs that represented them and their story the best.

Never one to turn down a great blog, the characters post updates on Fang's blog, letting "Flock" fans know what they're up to between books. With all the secret files and cool pictures, no wonder readers are addicted to this!

Their story is intense, fun, and funny. If you're a fan of sarcasm, take some notes from Max. If you like the tall, dark, and quiet type, you're bound to squee over Fang. (According to their MySpace, Iggy, the blind pyrotechnic genius of the group may be giving him a run for his money, though!)

The third installment in the series, Maximum Ride: Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports, hits stores May 2007. Rumor has it there may be a movie in the works. With the cool wing special effects in the latest X-Men movie (Remember Angel?), this should be something no one wants to miss!


Squeeworthy site extras:

• Listen to the Holly Brook/Max Ride podcast
• Watch exclusive Max Ride videos from The Summer Obsession

Geeky squee.

I have a very love/hate relationship with Apple.

I love them because they come up with great geekies goodies for me to buy. I hate them because they come up with great geekies goodies for me to buy...every two weeks.

Within the past year I have bought four iPods, a computer, a laptop, an iPod case, ear phones, speakers, and a Mighty Mouse. I can't stop. Let's not even talk about what I drop at the iTunes store every New Music Tuesday. (By my conservative estimation, I single-handedly employ one Apple employee.)

My Apple purchases would probably be cut in half if Steve would just not be so darn creative and stop coming up with new product announcements every time he sneezes.

Take, for instance, the new iPod Shuffle. I have a 512 MB Shuffle. It's awesome. I don't even use it, but I know it's still awesome...even while it sits unused. It's like playing Russian Roulette with my music playlist because there is no display. Let's also not forget it's the size of a stick of gum. ...And who doesn't like gum.

Apparently the bar for "Awesome" has been raised once again, because it was newly revamped this week:



The thing is the size of their banner ad!* There's nothing to hold or even place in a pocket! It just clips!

I'm waiting for the day when the iPod is the size of a postage stamp, and people start accidently licking them, adhering them to envelopes and mailing people playlists. I bet 39 cent stamps will be a non-issue THEN.

Do I want one? Yes. Do I need one? Not unless I'm trying to win a contest.

Also newly revamped for Fall 2006, the Nano.


They ressurected the fun from the now defunct Mini and brought color back. What JT did for sexy, Apple is doing for MP3 players.

Let's hope they don't take it back...again.




*I have NO idea if that's true. Humor me.

JT brought sexy back. Apparently he knew where it went.

Well, today's the day. Justin Timberlake finally brought sexy back, and thank god, cause I was getting worried.

The world has gone far too long without sexy, living in an old maid-esque world since the release of his debut album in 2003, Justified.

Three years was worth the wait, because this album is pretty close to brilliant, even if I still don't understand the plot of the music video.

My advice to you is to listen to FutureSex/LoveSounds with a clean-slate persception of JT. If you expect "Like I Love You, Part 2," you'll wander away confused, and in need of a Nuprin.

Also, too bad you couldn't hop into a flying Delorean and retroactively pre-order this on iTunes, because it came with a really fun bonus track. I'm sure it'll be floating around the internet soon enough.

This CD gets the squee stamp of approval.

Jams to Squee Over:

• "My Love" featuring T.I.
  
  
• "(Another Song) All Over Again"
  
  
• "Damn Girl" featuring Will.I.Am
  
  

Squee Decibels: LOUD