Smart squee.

Put away your books and break out the No. 2 pencil. Here's a math equation for you:

A man is walking across a railroad bridge that goes from point A to point B. He starts at point A, and when he is 1/4th of the way across the bridge, he hears a train approaching. If the train's speed is 60MPH, how many passengers onboard are reading a James Patterson book?

Answer: 1/3.

That's right. Take a look around you on any plane, train, or automobile and you are guaranteed to spot someone reading a James Patterson book. Deemed "The man who can't miss" by Time Magazine, Patterson may be better known to your parents as the author of the Alex Cross series, or the Women's Murder Club. To your friends, he's the guy that created the butt-kicking kids with wings.

Maximum Ride, a best-selling novel on the New York Times Best Sellers List, is not your ordinary book. It comes complete with an uber-cool website (MaximumRide.com), a message board popularized by almost 10,000 fans, a MySpace, and its own soundtrack! That's right. A book with a soundtrack.


I first discovered this series after learning about The Summer Obsession's involvement on the CD. Featuring more cool music by Holly Brook (The girl from the hook on Fort Minor's hit "Where'd You Go") and other up and coming artists, the characters "hand-picked" the bands and songs that represented them and their story the best.

Never one to turn down a great blog, the characters post updates on Fang's blog, letting "Flock" fans know what they're up to between books. With all the secret files and cool pictures, no wonder readers are addicted to this!

Their story is intense, fun, and funny. If you're a fan of sarcasm, take some notes from Max. If you like the tall, dark, and quiet type, you're bound to squee over Fang. (According to their MySpace, Iggy, the blind pyrotechnic genius of the group may be giving him a run for his money, though!)

The third installment in the series, Maximum Ride: Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports, hits stores May 2007. Rumor has it there may be a movie in the works. With the cool wing special effects in the latest X-Men movie (Remember Angel?), this should be something no one wants to miss!


Squeeworthy site extras:

• Listen to the Holly Brook/Max Ride podcast
• Watch exclusive Max Ride videos from The Summer Obsession

Geeky squee.

I remember when I bought my first iPod. I couldn't wait to have all my music in one spot and not have to lug around some dumb portable CD player ever again. I could wait, however, to rip the hundreds of CDs I had accumulated over the years. Ew.

After tackling 14 stacks of CDs, seven hours of monotonous iTunes babysitting, and going near-blind thanks to the constant flickering glow of my monitor, I had to put all these dumb things back into their jewel cases.

Why couldn't I just bribe someone with a bag of Cheetos to do this for me, I wondered.

Look no further, because I am about to do you a huge favor: www.riptopia.com

Yup. It may not be for a bag of puffy cheese snack goodness, but your time, vision, and sanity are well worth the expense.

For a $1.49 per CD, you can have each of your discs ripped at 192 kbps (That's a good thing, by the way...) complete with cover art, shipping and insurance. Your CDs and a DVD containing your newly ripped music is mailed back to you, ready for your iPod.

If you're really lazy, you can buy a preloaded iPod from Riptopia. They're Authorized Apple Resellers, so you know you're not getting some refurbished first generation brick back. It's just like buying a brand new one from the Apple Store, but all of your favorite songs are magically on it, right out of the box.

In other cool iPod news, ordering your iPod through Apple.com allows you to get free engraving and free shipping.

Squeeworthy engraving suggestions include:

- This iPod is filled with Squee!
- Warning: This iPod contains squee.
- I squee for music!
- I wish I paid a bag of Cheetos for this.

Theatrical squee.

Admit it. You have a boyband guilty pleasure. Odds are, you also like musical theatre. Put them in a blender, and what do you get? Altar Boyz.

One of the funniest satirical shows I've seen in a long time, Altar Boyz tells the story of five boys from Ohio, Matthew (The "Justin Timberlake"), Mark (The "Gay?" One), Luke (The Bad Boy), Juan (The Latin Heartthrob), and Abraham (He's Jewish), who form a Christian boyband, trying to save the audience's souls through their music at their NYC tour stop.

With moves straight out of NKOTB and lyrics like, "Jesus called me on my cell phone" and "God put the rhythm in me so I could bust a move," this is the show you need to see if you want to know how darn ridiculous manufactured pop music can be.

The funniest part about it is how good they are at mocking it. So good, in fact, there's a fan website, a MySpace, and a legion of fans called Altarholics who attend all of their shows.

To score tickets to their Off-Broaday production at New World Stages, click here.

If you're not in New York, don't fear. The Boyz are going on a national tour.

Chicago, IL
10/10/06-10/22/06
LaSalle Bank Theatre

Boston, MA
10/31/06-11/05/06
Colonial Theatre

Baltimore, MD
11/07/06-11/12/06
Hippodrome Theatre, France-Merrick Performing Arts Center

Philadelphia, PA
11/28/06-12/03/06
Merriam Theatre

Minneapolis, MN
12/19/06-12/31/06
Pantages Theatre

Pittsburgh, PA
04/17/07-04/29/07
Byham Theatre

If you have issues with being seen out in public, there's always the Original Off-Broadway Cast Album.



Squeeworthy jams: "Rhythm In Me," "Epiphany"
Favorite member: Matt.

Funny squee.

I'm always a fan of a good blog, and John Mayer definitely has one of them.

Why is this squeeworthy? Cause the guy bothers to write his own material instead of his management or his label telling you "what John thinks." You're reading the unfiltered thoughts of JM's head, most of which are a sitcom waiting to happen.

Take, for instance, John's latest post in the style of popular celebrity gossip site "Pink Is the New Blog," or his entry entitled, "Nike Plus Vs. A Guy On Stage" where he wore the latest gizmo from Apple, the Nike Plus iPod kit on stage during a concert.

*Visit his blog to see who won.

Buy the kit for yourself and find out how many miles you log running to chem class before the bell rings or trying to catch that fleeting school bus in the AM. You'll probably get awarded bonus calories burned if you're a freshman with a backpack.

Speaking of Mr. Mayer, if you didn't buy Continuum, you are missing a staple album of 2006.


Get it now on iTunes:


Other squeeworthy blogs worth bookmarking:

• Jason Mraz
• Fang's Blog, from the book Maximum Ride
• Pink Is the New Blog
  

Beauty squee.

There's a lot of beauty products out there that get positive feedback, but never as consistently as Benefit's Dandelion pressed powder.

Pick up any magazine, scroll through the customer feedback section of any beauty website - this product is getting the big two thumbs up across the board.

One of the dangers of using blush is applying too much, inadvertently making yourself up to be a clown, or applying it to the wrong area of your cheeks, making you wish you never bought the stuff in the first place. To avoid looking like Sideshow Bob, use this stuff.

You don't need to be a makeup artist. Dandelion is a guaranteed foolproof way of brightening up your face by using it as a light blush, or an all-over highlighting powder.

If you go to a school that cracks down on excessive makeup use, this will be your new secret weapon! You'll look like you woke up at 11, and everyone else will look like they stayed up until 5AM, bugged out on coffee to finish that overdue term paper.

Bonus, it comes in a cool box to sit on your vanity or dresser. (No, really. It's that cool.)


Get yours here.