Musical squee.

Instead of complaining about lame ringtones, I guess I should be recommending squeeworthy ones instead.

Accordingly, I give you THE HOTNESS:

Cingular Wireless

"White & Nerdy" by Weird Al Yankovic

What This Ringtone Says About You:

"Yes, fellow mass transit riders. I'd be riding a Segway instead if it fit inside this subway car."







"Smack That" by Akon, featuring Eminem

What This Ringtone Says About You:

"I'm a conformist."

"I will download any song that features an Eric Roberts cameo in the music video."





Verizon Wireless



"About Us" by Brooke Hogan

What This Ringtone Says About You:

"I watch a lot of VH1. A LOT."






Mozzy "Mosquito" Tones
AKA "The Ringtones Adults Can't Hear"

What This Ringtone Says About You:

"I'm under the age of 20."

"I have little to no life...and, consequently, have a large number of missed calls because I employ the use of a non-audible ringtone."

WHO is buying these ringtones?

After consulting Billboard.com to see that frequently squeed-over Justin Timberlake has added another #1 single to his mantle, it was brought to my attention that he was missing one "#1" in particular:

What? No ringtone?

I'd really like to know what the methodology is over at Billboard for determining ringtone hierarchy. By the looks of the chart, I have been lead to believe that the Billboard folks are at the local parish's weekly Bingo somewhere Upstate New York gathering these "facts."

I have nothing against Bingo (except the ink that stains everything in sight or people who falsely yell out "Bingo!" when they only have four down...) or Upstate (except for the incessant foliage), but I don't think that Justin, or any of the songs released THIS YEAR could not be on the Top 10.

Give a listen to the songs blaring out of phones around you. Odds are, they're on the current Top 40 charts. Not last year's - this year's.

Let's be real: Who the heck has downloaded "Halloween," a mere seasonal ringtone, for a song I forgot even existed until today, enough times to warrant a #1 spot? [Whisper: People UPSTATE!]

If you know who they are, please openly mock them, and then have them leave a comment for us here at Squeeworthy.com.

I will not stop until I know the truth!